Sunday, August 15, 2010

Chapter 13

Tiba-tiba teringat lagu si Tommy Page, A Shoulder To Cry On. 

Pernah bagi lagu ni kat si dia semasa dia sedang kecewa dengan cinta hati beliau dulu....

sebagai tanda aku sentiasa ada untuk dia....




Life is full of lots of up and downs,
And the distance feels further when you're headed for the ground,
And there is nothing more painful than to let you're feelings take
you down,
It's so hard to know the way you feel inside,
When there's many thoughts and feelings that you hide,
But you might feel better if you let me walk with you
by your side,

And when you need a shoulder to cry on,
When you need a friend to rely on,
When the whole world is gone,
You won't be alone, cause I'll be there,
I'll be your shoulder to cry on,
I'll be there,
I'll be a friend to rely on,
When the whole world is gone,
you won't be alone, cause I'll be there.

All of the times when everything is wrong
And you're feeling like
There's no use going on
You can't give it up
I hope you work it out and carry on
Side by side,
With you till the end
I'll always be the one to firmly hold your hand
no matter what is said or done
our love will always continue on

Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on
everyone needs a friend to rely on
When the whole world is gone
you won't be alone cause I'll be there
I'll be your shoulder to cry on
I'll be there
I'll be the one you rely on
when the whole world's gone
you won't be alone
cause I'll be there

Friday, August 6, 2010

Chapter 12


Aku surrender dengan perasaan sendiri. Dari aku pendam, baik aku luahkan je. Respon dari dia tu, tak penting sangat (ayat memang sangat poyo, konon macam tak kisah je kan?)

 But befora luahkan secara formal dan muka ke muka / face to face...ada sesuatu yang perlu aku lakukan. 

Memang lumrah dalam hidup UMAIRA untuk menyakat orang disekeliling dia. Jadi Ayen telah dipilih sebagai The Lucky One kali ini untuk siri Myra Gotcha Call!

Scene pertama:

Sms-sms berbau rajukan meroyan merepek dihantar terus ke henpon thayunk saya! Macam-macam yang aku hantar. Salah satu yang paling teruk menyeksa dia dan buat bontot dia tak senang duduk- aku mintak dia tinggalkan aku dan jangan cari aku lagi!

Member tengah syok gile lead, main snooker terus menggelabah dan prestasi  di meja snooker terus merundum!

Dia call, aku reject je! Dia mesej, lansung aku tak balas.

Dalam hati, sangat simpati dengan nasib thayunk aku ni sebab kena kacau teruk dengan aku.

Scene 2:

Aku dah kat bilik, baik punya golek atas katil. Dai dah pecut naik Bukit Ampang. Konon nak release tension dan cari ilham pujuk aku.

Then dia call aku lagi. Dek kerana tak tahan nak mainkan dia, aku pun jawab. Suara harus di kontrol ea adik-adik!

Kononnya dalam drama sebabak dua ni, aku memang tak nak ada apa-apa lansung dengan dia. Kira memnag menyampah tahap dewa la! Suara dia dah berbunyi sedikit kuchiwa! Aku jadi tak sampai hati lak. Sumpah suara dia lain, jahat kan aku?

Lama gak la pura-pura cari pasal dengan mamat ni. Then entah macam mana time dia dok pujuk aku, aku lak boleh gelak kaw-kaw! Hampeh gak aku ni, gelak tak reti cover betul.

Dia terdiam!

Aku dengan selamba cakap- "Pernah dengar Gotcha Call kat HitzFM tak? Tiap-tiap pagi mesti ada...If nak tahu macam mana Gotcha Call tu, yang awak baru je lalui tadi tu la contohnye!!!"

Dia punya la hangin satu badan, adesss...sumpah tak boleh lupa!

But a few hours after that, pukul 3 pagi, 6 September 2009, we finally declared our feelings and decide to take the next step! Bukan tawen ea...sekadar lovers, couples, pasangan kekasih atau apa saja yang anda gelarkan ia.

What i know for sure is, i like him a lot, i love him, i miss him when he's not around, i need him to be the shoulder for me to cry on, to be beside me when im in blue, when im in ups and down....and for surely i will do the same thing to him too... 

heart you!


Chapter 11

Suatu pagi, can't remember at what time but for surely after 2/3am...

he text me this:

........

"Thayunk, can u b da shoulder for me 2 cry on?"

.........

Apa maksud dia yang sebenarnya?

Dia betul-betul maksudkan ke apa yang dia cakap??
.........


btw...

This is a song that i dedicate especially for him..

as.... 

He really change my life, my world...

He brings out the best in me...

But should i tell him what i feel inside?

I dont want to lose him!


Chapter 10

once they will say they love you with all their heart and soul..they will keep on saying that they're missing you each day, every breath they take in their life..they said that you will complete them..cant live without you..


well guess what, some people who said all this thing is a big fat LIAR..bullshit is all they can say..dont ever trust those who said that love you the most too much,or else you will be the one who being left with heart broken inside.

how can someone who said that he loves you so bad, but called you with inappropriate words/ language?? how can someone who said that he misses you so bad forgot to call or sms you for a month?? how can a guy who said that you are the only one that he needs in his life ignored you for 3 weeks???? how can a guy be so cruel, so rude, disrespect you etc and after saying things like 'sundal' and' jalang', he said 'i love you a lot'???

who the hell do you think you are?? i do love you, not once, not twice, but i gave you chances more than that. but instead of taking a good care of me, you left me hanging, you didnt respect me, you ignored me, you didnt appreciate me..

but when i wanna say goodbye, u came back and say that u never did anything wrog to me..i was the one who keep on begging you to not let me go away from you..bullshit! how dare you put all the blame on me?? after words like'i really love you', 'i wanna get marry with you'..???

i wanna live a new life, i found people who loves me for who i am..and never asked me to be worst than i am now. they were the one who keeps on giving me the advice, the support to move on, to change myself and be a better person..

cant you just let me go?? as now the love has gone???please la...

Chapter 9

A song that best describe my feelings now!

I don't know but...
I think I maybe fallin' for you
Dropping so quickly
Maybe I should keep this to myself
Waiting 'til I know you better
I am trying not to tell you..
But I want to..

I'm scared of what you'll say
So I'm hiding what I'm feeeling..
But I'm tired of
Holding this inside my head

I've been spending all my time
Just thinking about you
I don't know what to do
I think I'm fallin' for you

I've been waiting all my life
and now i found you
I dont know what to do
I think I'm falling for you...
I'm falling for you...

As I'm standing here
And you hold my hand
Pull me towards you
and we start to dance

All around us..I see nobody 
Here in silence
It's just you and me

I just can't take it..
My heart is racing..
Emotions keep spinning out...

I think I'm fallin' for you
I can't stop thinking about it
I want you all around me
And now I just can't hide it
I think i'm fallin' for you
I can't stop thinking about it
I want you all around me
And now I just can't hide it
I think I'm fallin' for you...
I'm fallin' for you...




p/s: you know who you are to me..miss you dear..

Chapter 8

Sejak dua menjak ni, mama selalu tanya aku tentang status hubungan aku dan ayen. Aku tak tahu nak cakap apa sebab memang belum ada apa-apa lagi kata putus dari dia, mahupun aku. Kami TEMAN tapi TERLALU MESRA.. statement memang tak boleh blah!

Entah bila aku sedar yang aku mula sayangkan dia..aku pun tak pasti. Yang aku tahu, dia selalu ada untuk aku. And that makes me fall for him! Setiap hari berbuka dengan dia, buat aku rasa yang kitorang ni macam couple je. Tapi tak pernah declare anything.

To be honest, im quite afraid. He's younger than me, and i was his best friend ex -GF. OMG! Can we ever be more than friends?

Both of us berubah sedikit demi sedikit. Masing-masing jadi lebih caring, protective dan manja romantika de amour. Pelik kan? Bila orang tany dia, "ni sapa?", dia selamba jawab aku GF dia But dengan aku tak pernah lak dia cakap apa-apa. But we already started holdings each other hands, ber'lovey-dovey' even depan kawan-kawan. So apa status hubungan ni?????!! Damn!

The feelings i have for him makin bertambah. And aku jadi semakin takut dengan permainan perasaan aku sendiri. I decided to stay away from him for awhile. 

RINDU?

Damn! I really do miss him A LOT!

But patut ke aku rasa apa yang aku rasa towards him?